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2019年12月07日 00:38:21来源:排名社区

In love, we want to have, we want to know the beloved.在爱情中,我们想要拥有,我们想要了解我们的爱人We want to minimize the distance. We want to contract that gap.我们想腻在一起,想跨越阻碍We want to neutralize the tensions. We want closeness.我们想调和不安的情绪,我们想亲密无间。But in desire, we tend to not really want to go back to the places weve aly gone.而在性欲方面,我们不想回到我们已经经历过的地方。Forgone conclusion does not keep our interest.过时的结论提不起我们的兴趣。In desire, we want an Other, somebody on the other side that we can go visit,在性欲方面,我们想找的是我们的另一半,一个在彼岸,一个我们想去探索的另一半。that we can go spend some time with,一个我们想呆在一起的另一半that we can go see what goes on in their red light district.和一个我们能探索其瘾秘的内心世界的另一半In desire, we want a bridge to cross.在性欲中,我们想找的是一座沟通的桥梁。Or in other words, I sometimes say, fire needs air.换言之,“一个巴掌拍不响啊”Desire needs space.性欲也需要空间。And when its said like that, its often quite abstract.这样说或许有点抽象吧。But then I took a question with me.带着一个问题And Ive gone to more than 20 countries in the last few years几年间我带着;Mating in Captivity; 这本书走访了20多个国家with ;Mating in Captivity,; and I asked people,每到一处,我都会问人们:when do you find yourself most drawn to your partner?;你什么时候最喜欢和爱人呆在一起?;Not attracted sexually, per se, but most drawn.我说的是呆在一起而不是一起性爱And across culture, across religion, and across gender --来自不同文化、不同地区、不同性别的人except for one -- there are a few answers that just keep coming back.除一个有点例外,其它人给我的回答不外如是So the first group is: I am most drawn to my partner第一组:最想和爱人在一起的时候when she is away, when we are apart, when we reunite.是爱人不在身边的时候、是分开的时候或是小别重逢时。Basically, when I get back in touch也就是,当我能用我的想象力with my ability to imagine myself with my partner,想像我和爱人在一起的时候,when my imagination comes back in the picture,当我的想像力能回到这方面来的时候,and when I can root it in absence and in longing,当爱人不在而我又想要的时候which is a major component of desire.这就是性欲的主要组成部分But then the second group is even more interesting:然而,另一组回答更有趣。I am most drawn to my partner我最想和爱人在一起的时候when I see him in the studio, when she is onstage,是当我看到他在录影棚工作、在舞台上表演的时候、when he is in his element, when shes doing something shes passionate about,当他在做正经事的时候、当他在做她感兴趣的事情的时候,when I see him at a party and other people are really drawn to him,当我看到他在party上谜倒一大堆人的时候when I see her hold court.当她开庭的时候。Basically, when I look at my partner radiant and confident,一般而言,当我看到我的爱人光芒四射而又自信的时候probably the biggest turn-on across the board.这就是最大的刺激物了。Radiant, as in self-sustaining.光芒四射,在自我维系中也如此。I look at this person -- by the way, in desire在欲望中,我看这个人people rarely talk about it, when we are blended into one,人们很少谈论这些, 当我们粘在一起的时候five centimeters from each other. I dont know in inches how much that is.也就是相隔5厘米左右的时候---说实在的我不知道是几厘米But its also not when the other person is that far apart但是,这种分别并不是说相隔太远that you no longer see them.以至于以后都不能相见。Its when Im looking at my partner from a comfortable distance,而是我能在一个比较合适的距离看着我爱的人where this person that is aly so familiar, so known,那个我熟悉和相知的,is momentarily once again somewhat mysterious, somewhat elusive.还带有点神秘,有点难以捉摸的人。And in this space between me and the other lies the erotic elan,我和爱人之间的距离成了一条性欲的纽带lies that movement toward the other.也造成了我们的相互走动Because sometimes, as Proust says,因为有时候,正如Proust说的那样mystery is not about traveling to new places,发现奥秘不一定要到一个新的地方去,but its about looking with new eyes.而只要我们有新视角就行。And so, when I see my partner on his own or her own,所以,当我们看到我们的另一半独自doing something in which they are enveloped,在忙自己的事的时候。I look at this person and I momentarily get a shift in perception,看着他我会对他有一种新的了解和认识,and I stay open to the mysteries that are living right next to me.而我对我身过的一些奥秘是常怀着关注之情的。And then, more importantly, in this description about the other更重要的是,对别人的了解or myself -- its the same -- what is most interesting或者对自己的了解, 都一样.is that there is no neediness in desire.最有趣的是,这不需要性欲。Nobody needs anybody.没有谁需要谁。There is no caretaking in desire.性欲不存在谁照顾谁的问题。Caretaking is mightily loving. Its a powerful anti-aphrodisiac.照顾是一种了不起的大爱,是一种强大的崔情药I have yet to see somebody who is so turned on我还看到一些人的性欲by somebody who needs them.是被那些需要他们的人唤起的Wanting them is one thing. Needing them is a shutdown,想要是一回事,但需要会令人性趣索然and women have known that forever,这点女人最清楚了,because anything that will bring up parenthood因为任何母性有关的东西will usually decrease the erotic charge.都会降低性欲。For good reasons, right?很有道理,是不是?And then the third group of answers usually would be第三类回答是:when Im surprised, when we laugh together,当我感到惊喜时,当我们一起大笑时会性趣大发,as somebody said to me in the office today,比如说,今天有人在我的办公室告诉我,when hes in his tux, so I said, you know,当他穿着无尾半正式晚礼时最有感觉了its either the tux or the cowboy boots.其实性欲与晚礼或牛仔靴无关But basically its when there is novelty.而是与猎奇有关。But novelty isnt about new positions. It isnt a repertoire of techniques.但新奇并不只意味着新的体位,也不是五花八门的性爱技巧Novelty is, what parts of you do you bring out?新奇是,你将自已的哪一面展现出来?What parts of you are just being seen?你的哪一面你的爱人熟悉?Because in some way one could say因为在某种程度上,我们会说sex isnt something you do, eh?性交并不专指性交活动,对吧?Sex is a place you go. Its a space you enter性交过程其实像你在去一个地方inside yourself and with another, or others.是一个进入自己或对方体内的过程。So where do you go in sex?因此,性交时何去何从?What parts of you do you connect to?你们身体的哪一部分有接触?What do you seek to express there?你们想在那里表达些什么?Is it a place for transcendence and spiritual union?那是一个表现性爱技巧和精神合一的地方吗?Is it a place for naughtiness and is it a place to be safely aggressive?那是一个俏皮掏蛋的地方呢还是一个略带点侵略性质的地方呢?Is it a place where you can finally surrender还是一个你最后放弃and not have to take responsibility for everything?不想负责任的地方呢?Is it a place where you can express your infantile wishes?它是不是一个你可以表达你孩子气的地方呢?What comes out there? Its a language.性爱到底是什么?其实性交是一种语言。It isnt just a behavior.不是一种行为。And its the poetic of that language that Im interested in,而我,正是对这一充满诗意的性交语言感兴趣which is why I began to explore this concept of erotic intelligence.这就是为什么我要探讨;性商;这一概念。You know, animals have sex.要知道,动物也性交。Its the pivot, its biology, its the natural instinct.而动物的性交是传宗接代的,是生物的,是一种自然的天性。201505/374261。

  • Dr. Ma Thida, a leading human rights activist马提达士,一位人活跃的权运动领袖who had nearly died in prison曾经几乎丧命于狱中and had spent many years in solitary confinement,并在单独禁锢中度过多年,told me she was grateful to her jailers但她告诉我她很感谢她的囚监for the time she had had to think,给她思考的时间,for the wisdom she had gained,让她得到了许多的智慧,for the chance to hone her meditation skills.和增进她的沉思的能力。She had sought meaning她追寻了意义,and made her travail into a crucial identity.并把她受的难变成了重要的身份。But if the people I met但如果我见到的人们were less bitter than Id anticipated没我想象的中那么怀恨about being in prison,他们在狱中的时间,they were also less thrilled than Id expected他们也没有我想象的about the reform process going on对他们国家的政治改革in their country.那么高兴。Ma Thida said,马提达说:;We Burmese are noted“我们缅甸人出了名的for our tremendous grace under pressure,在压力下能保持优雅,but we also have grievance under glamour,;但在华丽表象下却有不满,”she said, ;and the fact that there have been他说道,“我们曾经历these shifts and changes这些动荡和改变doesnt erase the continuing problems并不能消除我们in our society在狱中学会看清的that we learned to see so well社会中while we were in prison.;长久以来的问题。”And I understood her to be saying而我所理解她所说的是that concessions confer only a little humanity,相比完整的人性所需要的,where full humanity is due,妥协换来的只是一小部分的人性that crumbs are not the same这就像面包屑并不等于as a place at the table,饭桌前就餐的位置which is to say you can forge meaning而这意味着你可以在铸造意义and build identity and still be mad as hell.和寻求身份的同时十分气愤。Ive never been raped,我不曾被强奸,and Ive never been in anything remotely approaching我也不曾体验过任何a Burmese prison,接近缅甸监狱的事情,but as a gay American,但身为一名同性恋的美国人,Ive experienced prejudice and even hatred,我经历过歧视甚至仇恨,and Ive forged meaning and Ive built identity,而我也曾铸造过意义和建造了身份,which is a move I learned from people这是我从经历过比我who had experienced far worse privation更多困苦的人身上than Ive ever known.学习到的法则。In my own adolescence,我年少时,I went to extreme lengths to try to be straight.曾经千辛万苦地努力成为异性恋者。I enrolled myself in something called我为自己报名参加了称为sexual surrogacy therapy,性替代品的疗法。in which people I was encouraged to call doctors所谓的医生为我prescribed what I was encouraged to call exercises和所谓替代品女人with women I was encouraged to call surrogates,规定了所谓的练习,who were not exactly prostitutes她们并不是,but who were also not exactly anything else.但除了却也什么都不是。My particular favorite我最喜爱的was a blonde woman from the Deep South是从南部来的一位金发女郎,who eventually admitted to me她最终向我坦白that she was really a necrophiliac她是个恋尸癖and had taken this job after she got in trouble在她在停尸房中出了事儿后,down at the morgue.才接受了这份工作。These experiences eventually allowed me to have这些经历最终让我和一些女人some happy physical relationships with women,发生了愉快的肉体关系,for which Im grateful,我对此抱有感激,but I was at war with myself,但我也和自己不断的战斗,and I dug terrible wounds into my own psyche.我在自身的心灵里划下了了严重的伤。We dont seek the painful experiences我们不寻求揉搓出我们身份that hew our identities,的那些惨痛经验but we seek our identities但我们在惨痛的经验之后,in the wake of painful experiences.却会追寻我们的身份。201410/337800。
  • We are also enhancing the ability of customers to purchase products over the Internet, both from Compaq and our worldwide network of retailers.同时康柏也在不断增强客户通过Internet从康柏或全球分销商处购买康柏产品的能力。In fact, Compaq and its resellers today sell more than million dollars a day over the Internet - and that is more than Dell.实际上,康柏及其分销商现在每天的Internet销售额已超过600万美元,这甚至超过了Dell公司的销售额。We are proving that Compaq can bring together the widest array of products and services combined with the extensive capabilities of our resellers to offer you the best value in the industry.我们已经明康柏可以综合最多的产品和务,最广泛的分销商网络,为您提供业界最高的价值。How you buy is important but what you buy is just as critical.您购买产品的方式当然很重要,但是您购买的产品则更加重要。With the acquisition of Digital, Compaq has one of the broadest product portfolios in the industry - from handheld PCs to the most powerful enterprise servers.通过收购DEC,康柏已成为拥有业界最多产品系列的厂商之一,我们的生产销售范围极为广泛,从手持电脑到功能最为强大的企业级务器,无所不含。Since this is PC Expo, let me start with PCs.既然这是PCExpo,那我们就从电脑开始谈起吧。Now that we have completed the acquisition of Digital, we will merge the two companies PC product lines. This will give Compaq the most extensive and competitive line of desktop and networked PCs in the industry.现在我们已经完成了对DEC的收购,我们将合并两个公司的电脑产品系列。这将使康柏成为业界台式机和联网电脑产品最广泛、最具竞争力的厂商之一。According to first quarter numbers from International Data Corporation, Compaq remains the #1 desktop PC company in the world. I am particularly pleased that Compaq regained the #1 position in portable PCs in North America - in both the commercial and consumer segments.根据国际数据公司(IDC)第一季度的统计数字,康柏仍然是全球最大的台式电脑生产厂商。更让我感到欣慰的是,康柏重新赢得了北美地区笔记本电脑的首席位置--无论是在商用市场还是在家用市场。What that should tell you is that we are determined to maintain our position as the number one PC company worldwide. And we will do it by continuing to offer standards-based, innovative and easily managed desktops and portables that integrate seamlessly into your enterprise environment.我们希望使您知道,我们已经下定决心继续保持康柏做为全球第一位个人电脑公司的位置。为了达到这一目标,我们一定会继续提供符合工业标准、易于管理、具有创新功能的台式机,以及能够与您的企业环境实现完美集成的便携机。To those in the audience who are Digital customers, I want to assure you that we are not taking your business for granted. We intend to earn your trust and confidence.在座的DEC的客户们,请相信,我们不会认为您理所当然将成为合并后的康柏的客户。我们决意赢得您对我们的信任和信心。Although we will move the Digital PC line to Compaq-branded products, we will do so over a period of time that allows you to make the transition at your own pace.尽管我们将把DEC公司的电脑系列产品转为康柏品牌的产品,但我们的这一目标将会在一段时间内逐步进行,以使您能够按照自己的计划进行技术移植。I believe our customers will be well-served by this combination.我相信通过这次合并,我们的客户将会得到更多更优异的务。201311/266147。
  • In the name of God, the most beneficent, the most merciful.以最善良,最慈悲的真主名义。Honorable UN Secretary General Mr Ban Ki-moon, respected president of the General Assembly Vuk Jeremic, honorable UN envoy for global education Mr Gordon Brown, respected elders and my dear brothers and sisters: Assalamu alaikum.尊敬的联合国秘书长潘基文先生,尊敬的联合国大会主席耶雷米奇先生,尊敬的联合国全球教育特使戈登·布朗先生,尊敬的长辈和我亲爱的兄弟们:祝愿你们平安Today is it an honor for me to be speaking again after a long time.继一段漫长时日之后,今日我很荣幸能再次发言。Being here with such honorable people is a great moment in my life and it is an honor for me that today I am wearing a shawl of the late Benazir Bhutto.在此与诸位可敬的人聚集在这里的这一刻,将成为我人生中的重要时刻。也很荣幸能在今日穿戴已故民选总理贝娜姬·布托的披肩。I dont know where to begin my speech.我不知道该从哪儿开始我的演讲。I dont know what people would be expecting me to say, but first of all thank you to God for whom we all are equal and thank you to every person who has prayed for my fast recovery and new life.我不知道人们会期望我说些甚么,但首先,感谢真主让我们所有人都平等,也感谢每一位为我祷告、冀望我快速康复、开始新生活的人。I cannot believe how much love people have shown me.我无法相信人们向我展现出如此多的爱。I have received thousands of good wish cards and gifts from all over the world.我收到了来自世界各地的数千份问候卡和礼物。Thank you to all of them.感谢所有人。Thank you to the children whose innocent words encouraged me.感谢孩子们,他们天真的话语鼓励了我。Thank you to my elders whose prayers strengthened me.感谢我的长辈,他们的祈祷让我变得更坚强。I would like to thank my nurses, doctors and the staff of the hospitals in Pakistan and the UK and the UAE government who have helped me to get better and recover my strength.我要感谢在巴基斯坦、英国和阿联酋政府的医院里照顾我,帮助我恢复健康和重获力量的护士、医生和职员。I fully support UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon in his Global Education First Initiative and the work of UN Special Envoy for Global Education Gordon Brown and the respectful president of the UN General Assembly Vuk Jeremic.我完全持联合国秘书长潘基文先生领导的全球教育优先计划,还有联合国全球教育特使戈登·布朗和尊敬的大会主席耶雷米奇先生的工作。I thank them for the leadership they continue to give.我感谢他们坚定的领导。They continue to inspire all of us to action.他们不断地激励我们作出实践。201412/347751。
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